What is your favorite wine country right now?

Looking for "cost-benefit"--"bang for your buck."

Was talking to a distributor from Spain, and thought of this.  For instance, Rioja is an excellent value in a Old World red, at about $12.99 a bottle at a store for a good one.

Chile' and Australia are also non-USA favorites of mine.  Though I have been getting excellent Central Valley deals lately,  So maybe it's USA. 

Anyway, open forum!

¡BATTLE OF THE GAS STATION WINES! Parte Quatro: BAY BRIDGE MERLOT:

Addendum--Anybody know who makes this?  I mean, like, I know it's Bay Bridge Vineyards, but who is the "macro" company that owns it?  Then Internet says "Bronco Wines," But I talked to Joe, one of the head guys, and he says NO!!!

Well, good job, Huge Oligopolistic Agribusiness Conglomerate--whoever you are...I MEAN that!  This wine ROCKS, when price/availability handicapped...GS...

Purchased at:  Kwik Shop/Shell/20th & 56th, Lincoln.

Price:  $4.39.

Maker:  Bay Bridge Vineyards.

Location:  Livermore & Ripon, California.

Varietal: Merlot.

Vintage: Not Listed***.

Wrapper:  Foil.

Cork:  Yes, synthetic.

Tannins: Moderate.

Quaffability:  Very Good.

Halo: Narrow.

Color: Violet.

Notes:  Blackberry jam, strawberry, Goofy Grape, light plum.

Oak: Whatever.

Alcohol: 12.5%.

Viscosity:  Some sheets; might have been the glass that I stole from the restaurant across the street.  When was the last time they changed the sterilizer in the dish machine.  Get on it, Ahkmed!!!

  Transparency under sunlight.  Going with LOW VISCOSITY.

Buy your own bottle, already.  It was $4.39!!!  I gave the change from the fin I spent to the guy in the parking lot.  He promised to spend it on food...

Comments:  It costs half of minimum wage in this state, and you don't grow a third eyeball drinkin' it.  Wanna hear about some of the stuff we drank on the Ho Chi Minh Trail, ya little punk???

Seriously, this was an incredible value. 

This series on the gas station wines...Can I level with you, here??  We're buds, right???  I'm not sure I can ever work in a restaurant again...Even a Mexican restaurant with the homemade Sangria...Why not just buy wine from a gas station and order some Chinese delivery???  Would you be regretting that decision THAT MUCH on your death bed???  not quite up there with, "Not buyin' Xerox stock in 1962," ne c'est pas???

Note:  If a woman breaks up with you for presenting any of these wines...she was not THE ONE, Muchacho...

BOTTOM LINE:  Four and a half hammers:

¡Batttle of the gas station wines! Parte Tres:

 

Wow, this computer is being WAY more cooperative today...guess the North Koreans are done messing with me LOL...I didn't know there WAS a North Korean wine.  Would have to be a Riesling...anyway...gets cold there, Colonel Hackworth told me...

 

Maurice Couturier from Boca Raton, Florida wrote me and said, :Why don't you review a wine from Wal-Mart?  They have gas stations attached to some of them...

 

I hate to agree with a French dude.  But he is correct on several levels:

 

1) I drive past a Wal-Mart everyday, and there is a Sam's gas station right in front of it.  You need a credit card issued by the New York Zionist banking conspiracy (LOL), but if you ran out of gas, you would buy a debit card from inside and get it SOME WAY.  So it is technically a GAS STATION.   The way that Comrade Fidel was TECHNICALLY  a socialist reformer;

 

2) it has radically cheap prices;

 

3) It is open 24-hours;

 

4) A large portion of the proceeds go to the People's Republic of China;

 

5) It appears you can park a diesel tractor in the lot and not get towed.  At least at this one.  Please check inside and mention that I sent you...

 

Here goes:

 

VENUE:  Wal-Mart north of Cornhusker Highway, next to the Water Tower.

 

WINE: Louis Jadot Beaujolais Villages.

 

APPELATION: Burgundy.

 

SUB-APPELATION: Beaujolais.

 

CONTROL LEVEL: AOC

 

 

VINTAGE: 2013

 

VARIETAL: 100% Gamay.

 

TANNINS: Light to moderate.

 

HALO: Narrow, purple.

 

PRICE: $10.64.

 

NOTES: Fresh baked cherry pie. strawberry jam. cinnamon, Bazooka Joe, Grape Kool-Aid with less sugar than my Mom put in it in 1967.

 

OAK: A little, though it might be the "crust" of the aforementioned cherry pie.  This wine is too young to have too much oak, one presumes.

 

FINISH: 1.25 seconds.

 

ALCOHOL: 12.5%

 

VISCOSITY: Low.

 

QUAFFABILITY: Dangerously awesome.

 

BOTTOM LINE: 4.75 Hammers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

¡Battle of the Gas Station wines! Parte Dos:

­¡I love Bronco Wines!  I served Montpelier at the ATL airport as the house wines, and it was consistently a great value.

(Dang I am gettin' no love outta this computer today.  I took my own picture but it won't load.)

Anyway, I was thrilled to stumble upon this offering at the U-Stop Phillips 66 Just off of State Highway 55-F (sounds like something that gets you out of the Army) north of Hickman, Nebraska.

Yes, that is an actual town...

Today's Gas Station Wine Contestant is Crane Lake Cabernet, by the aforementioned Bronco Wines--the fourth largest wine producer in the USA at this writing.  That is not a negative for our purposes--we are looking for affordability, consistency, and approachability--especially in this Contest.

NOT--Jeeves the Butler/Mr. Snooty Pants.  (Though he did have some great hangover cures, e.g., a coddled egg...)

This wine was incredibly priced, at $6.59.

I meant to only taste it--but I ended drinking most of the bottle.

You CAN really get enjoyable, drinkable wines, for cheap in a gas station!!  Who knew you didn't need to fly to Bordeaux??  If that "Day of the Jackal" French dude comes to hunt me down...I am ready for him...

Here are the stats on Crane Lake:

Year:  2012

State;  California

Appellations:  Says, "Napa and Sonoma"--I believe it.

Vintner:  Crane Lake Vineyards

Varietal:  Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cork:  Natural.

Tannins:  Moderate to high.

Viscosity:  Medium to high,

Halo:  Yes; lavender.

Oak:  Think I'm getting some..or some vanilla from somewhere...

Finish; Three seconds, with tannic after-kicker.

Notes: blackberry jam, coffee, aforementioned vanilla, cherry pie, maybe toast and tobacco.

Quaffability:  Incredible.

Bottom line:

Four-and-a-half hammers.

Footnote: Close between this and the Aussie shiraz below.  Help me out in Comments if you want.  Hey--this is "Guerilla Sommelier," not "No peaking-Over-the-Shoulder Sommelier!  ;)

Four and a half HAMMERS.  Very good...

Battle of the Gas Station Wines:

 

 

You know the feeling.  You're headed west on I-40, just outside of Memphis in an International diesel tractor with a trailer full of Florida oranges--bound for California, ironically.

 

The nihilistic futility of it all is getting to you.

 

Jean Paul-Sartre's "Nausea" is playing on "Books on Tape."  Maybe that wasn't the best existential choice, but what can you say?  We are doomed to be free...

 

 

Your partner, Vinnie, is asleep in  the passenger seat.  He gave out about Little Rock.

 

If you can just make it to Tulsa, there is a king bed in a Motel 6 with your name on it.

 

A charcuterie plate with Carpaccio Italian tenderloin and a capered goat cheese is chilling in a Styrofoam cooler--just taunting you.

 

But what about a wine?  The cashier at Tacoma Truck Stop was very knowledgeable about diesel gas line antifreeze--so he does know his fluids.  But can you trust him for a libational palate cleanser?

 

Maybe.  Maybe not. 

 

There is a time to take chances--like blowing past a weigh station at 90-per when it looks like it is probably closed.

 

But risk spoiling a perfect amuse' bouche?  I think not...

 

Well fear not: the friend and Brother of the International Socialist Worker is here.  Okay, friend of the Republican swing voter...whatever...

 

In the next five installments, Guerilla Sommelier will present a Steel Cage Match of wines that were purchased only in gas stations or truck stops.  They will be rated by both price and quality, but the key is roadside availability.

 

In this corner:

 

[Yellowtail Shiraz]:

 

Vitals:

 

Country:  Australia.

 

Region:  Southeast Australia.

 

Purchased at:  Andy's Express.

 

Price:  $6.99

 

Vintner:  Casella Wines.

 

Cork:  Synthetic.

 

Year:  2013.

 

Finish: approx. 1.5 seconds.

 

Notes: Mild to medium tannins, blackberry jam, light oak or vanilla, coffee, white pepper.

 

Quaffability:  Outstanding.

 

Halo:  Narrow reddish purple.

 

Viscosity:  Low.

 

Overall: Fruit-forward, seems like it would be a very consistent buy, in true Aussie fashion.

 

Bottom Line: 4.5 Hammers:

 

  

 

 

 



Screw-on cap or cork?

There comes a time in every man's life when he is asked a question that makes him search his soul:

"You're trapped on Gilligan's Island--Marianne or Ginger?"

I used to ask that question of candidates when I was HR director of a major US bank.

I'm no longer HR director of a major US bank.

I blame credit default swaps. 

Anyway, it's a trick question, and the answer is: "Mrs. Howell."  The three guys that got it didn't even know her real first name.  Which is "Eunice."  Hey--if you don't know anything about "Gilligan's Island," how can you sell Joe Sixpack a fifteen year adjustable rate mortgage based on the LIBOR index plus a spread of 200 basis points?

It's obvious where I am going with this metaphor:

Ginger is a French evergreen cork.

Marianne is a screw-on cap.

And Mrs. Howell is a polypropylene synthetic cork.

Why does this matter?

Common studies have found that approximately 7% of California wine is "corked"--in other words, has an element of cork-taint.

When we inquire as to why wines are even bottled with corks anymore, the common answer is, "Because of tradition."

But Chevrolet doesn't say, "Louis Chevrolet drove race cars with cork breaks.  They will fail 7% of the time--but we are putting them on the new Corvette because of tradition..."

A more valid answer might if a wine is meant to be aged, a natural cork would allow a couple oxygen molecules per year to enter the bottle and the miniscule "breathing" would make the wine age better.

Some say less than a percentage point of wines benefit from aging.  I don't think even a French oenophile would contend that a Beaujolais Villages would benefit from aging.  Probably it would be safe to say that a Beaujolais Villages could either stay the same or get marginally worse.  The tradeoff does not seem to make sense. 

During the Algerian War, I got really thirsty, and sometimes I would lose my corkscrew.  Most Berber storekeepers  did not carry them, because red wine is not hallal.

As a waiter, I am tired of explaining that screw-on caps are not just for bum wines anymore.  I guess that's part of the job...

Another argument--and this is an argument restaurant managers make against automatic chargeable wine openers--is that "customers like to hear the 'pop.'"  That would lean one towards synthetic corks.

For personal drinking, I am leaning towards screw-ons.  Also, for vintners, I like the "cockiness" that a screw-on proclaims. 

It says, "I know the rules--and I am hereby breaking the rules."

Plus I am tired of these punk college kid waiters not giving me my wine keys back...

Okay, bear with me...

It'd called Guerilla Sommelier, not Nerdy Web Designer. 

We didn't have any computers on La Granma in 1959.

But here is a better explanation of the rating system:

Five Hammers= Epic.  Like watching Batista take off from Cuba in a low-flying plane at midnight.

Four Hammers= Hammer Time.  A great finish at a great price.

Three Hammers= You got your money's worth.

Two Hammers= Something was "off."  Probably priced too high or illogically (See: a future post on restaurant pricing.)  Could have been bad notes in the finish.  Maybe worth another shot.  But there are so many "FOURS"--and life is short.

One Hammer= Save your dinero, Vaquero!